Constant Cravings

Constant Cravings

Co-written by: Mel and Jodie (with Teri’s approval in the use of her character, Patrick)

Rene made a sour face as he chewed another chalky antacid tablet. His stomach had been bothering him off and on for the past few weeks. It was nothing significant, just a bit acidic; though today it was really feeling miserable.

As he thought about it, he realized the days when his stomach was worse were the days when he’d had a poor sleep the night before. Zack had been on him about sleeping lately. It wasn’t that he didn’t try to get a good night’s sleep; he went to bed on time but just couldn’t settle or when he did, he’d often waken part way through the night to toss and turn for ages after. What he couldn’t understand was why when he was feeling so tired and sleepy. Hell, he’d been having a hard time staying awake at work lately. But when he’d get to bed at night, sleep just didn’t happen.

He looked at his watch and sighed. Zack had made an appointment for him with the Doctor this afternoon and would be picking him up in a few minutes. Rene cleaned up his paints and put things away. He had just enough time to grab a shower and change before Zack got home. He had suggested he go to the Doctor on his own, but Zack wouldn’t hear of it. He’d rather hoped that by going on his own he could minimize the symptoms and just get a sleeping aid from the Doctor. But with Zack there, he knew nothing would be overlooked.

Along with the fatigue, sleeplessness and acidic stomach, Rene had been increasingly jumpy and moody. Including last night, he’d been spanked twice in the last couple of weeks for being mouthy with his husband. He felt awful about being so rude yesterday. Zack didn’t deserve his bad attitude, especially in front of his parents. He’d called Hayden and Todd this morning to apologise. Of course they’d been very gracious about it, but he still felt embarrassed.

He quickly stripped off his clothes in the bathroom and turned to check out his butt in the mirror. It was still slightly pink. God, he hoped Dr. Dean wouldn’t want a full physical. He didn’t want to strip bare and have his Physician notice.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Zack filled the last few prescriptions and gave his assistant instructions to phone the customers to let them know their meds were ready.

“I can’t say for sure what time I’ll return, Patti, or if I will even be returning today. It will depend on how Rene’s appointment goes.”

“Don’t worry, Zack; we have everything covered here.”

Zack smiled his thanks and left the pharmacy. He was getting very concerned over his husband’s inability to sleep properly and the adverse effect it was having on Rene’s overall health and conduct. The stomach problems had him hoping they wouldn’t be getting a diagnosis of the onset of a gastric ulcer.

He walked through the front door of their home just as Rene was coming down the stairs. “You all ready to go, love?”    

Rene gave his husband a weak smile. “Yeah, as ready as I’ll ever be.”

Zack couldn’t help but grin at the disgruntled expression marring his husband’s usually handsome face. Wrapping an arm around Rene’s waist, he swept him off his feet and planted a long, passionate kiss on the pouty lips. 

It was a bemused young man he buckled into the passenger seat of his car a few moments after.

Ten minutes later, they were walking into the medical office. Rene sighed when he saw the number of people in the waiting room. “Big crowd today; it’s sure to be a long wait. You could go back to work you know. I’ll bet most of these people leave here with prescriptions they’ll need you to fill.”

“Nice try, Rembrandt, but I have a very competent assistant filling in for me and she knows I may be gone for the rest of the afternoon.”

Rene shook his head and walked over to the receptionist to register. They waited nearly thirty minutes before the nurse called Rene’s name. They were shown into a small examination room and sat down in the two hard backed visitor chairs.

A few moments later Dr. Patrick Dean walked in, dressed in a white lab coat over casual slacks and a golf shirt, he looked professional and yet relaxed. “Zack, Rene, it’s good to see you both. I’m sorry to have kept you waiting; it’s been a very busy day.”

“It’s good to see you too Patrick, and there is no need to explain, we understand completely.” Zack replied.

Patrick took a seat and glanced at the chart his was holding. It was only a thin folder with a couple of sheets of paper inside. Rene had only been here as a patient once before and that was for a physical Zack had insisted he have in the spring. “So, Rene, what brings you in to see me today?”

“I’ve been having some trouble sleeping the last few weeks,” Rene replied in hopes that would be enough said.

However, Zack cleared his throat rather loudly and gave Rene a sharp glance to encourage his husband to be more forthcoming.

“And…well my stomachs been a little acidy and uncomfortable,” Rene added.

“Add to that the moodiness, short-temper, fatigue and headaches, and I think we have a problem brewing,” Zack interjected at this point, knowing full-well the younger man was deliberately avoiding its’ mention.

“I see. Well those are all symptoms that could be caused by a number of different factors,” Patrick explained. “Why don’t you slip off your shirt for me and sit up on the exam table so I can take a look at you, Rene?”

Rene did as was requested and Patrick proceeded to do an examination, looking at Rene’s ears, nose, throat and neck. He checked his blood pressure and had him lie back to feel around his abdomen and glands. Finally, he checked Rene’s weight. When he was done he told Rene he could dress again and then sit down with Zack.

Patrick wrote a few notes on Rene’s chart and then looked up to the two men. “Well outwardly, Rene, you seem to be in fairly good shape. Your blood pressure is slightly elevated from what it was during your physical and you’re down four pounds in weight, but nothing significant. I’m going to give you a form for some blood work and urinalysis so I can see if anything is going on that way. Also, I’d like to ask you a few lifestyle and dietary questions.”

Rene nodded. “Okay sure, Doc.”

The Doctor continued with a whole list of questions about Rene’s work and if he was feeling stressed, making notes of each answer. Zack added a few remarks along the way.

“Now what about your diet, Rene; do you eat three regular meals each day?”

“Yeah, most days; I mean I do miss lunch once in a while when I get busy.”

“What about alcohol consumption?”

“I’m not much of a drinker, Doc. I have a few beers here and there. Zack and I share a bottle of wine once in a while, but not much else,” Rene replied honestly.

“What about coffee and tea?”

“I don’t drink tea at all, but I do enjoy my coffee.”

“Now that’s an understatement,” Zack mumbled and rolled his eyes, causing the good Doctor to clear his throat in order to hide his smile.  

“About how many cups do you drink on an average day?”

Rene had to stop and think through his typical day. Two cups each morning with breakfast, one about mid-morning, a cup with lunch and another one or two as the afternoon passed, and one usually after dinner too.

“Well, maybe five or so,” he answered, hoping that number wouldn’t sound as bad as the more realistic one.

“That number greatly increases if he gets the opportunity to spend time at the sweet shop with Kadyn. And that seems to happen somewhat frequently.” Although Zack considered this to be an imperative detail for the Doctor to have in order to make an accurate diagnosis, he knew Rene’s feeling in all likelihood differed from his.

 Rene shot Zack a look but immediately lowered his eyes when Zack returned it with one that spoke of the older man’s opinion of withholding any information from the Doctor.

Patrick put his pen down on the desk and turned to look pointedly at Rene. “Though I want to see the results of your lab tests, I can make an initial diagnosis and recommendations which I believe will help alleviate, if not eliminate, the symptoms you are complaining about.”

Rene nodded, preparing to hear the Doctor’s opinion. “Okay.”

“To be honest, Rene, I think a large part of your problem is dietary. Your coffee consumption is quite excessive and I don’t believe you’re eating as well as you should. Extreme caffeine intake can cause each and every one of the symptoms you’re suffering from. The insomnia, irritability, headaches, acidic stomach, etcetera are all classic symptoms. The weight loss and increase in blood pressure, though not overly concerning at this point, are still things to be considered. I’d like to recommend that you give up coffee altogether. However, I know that such a drastic change would be hard for you to manage. Caffeine is an addictive drug and you will feel the effects of withdrawal from it. So I recommend you cut back to only one cup in the morning. As far as decaffeinated goes, it won’t help you deal with the loss of caffeine and I don’t like to recommend it as the process for removing the caffeine introduced chemicals that could have detrimental effects over the long term.”

Rene shook his head incredulously. “Doc, no offence, but you’ve got it wrong about the coffee! I’ve been drinking this same amount of coffee every day since I my first year of university and I’ve never had these problems until the last few weeks. It has to be something else. I am not giving up my coffee!”

Zack’s eyes narrowed slightly as he reached over, wrapped his hand around the nape of Rene’s neck to turn the young man’s head until they were face to face. “You will do whatever the Doctor tells you to do, my lad, in order to regain your health.” He spoke in a firm concise manner. “Is that understood?” He hoped his husband would pick up on the warning that further backtalk would not bode well.

Rene was too upset to consider Zack’s words. “No, it’s you two who don’t understand! I told you coffee cannot be the cause of my problems! I always drink lots and it has never bothered me before!”

Patrick recognised a Top when he saw one, and Zack was in full-blown Top-mode at the moment. He hoped he could defuse the situation before Rene dug himself in too far. “Rene, I do understand what you’re saying. However, you need to understand that our bodies change as we age. Now I know you’re still a young guy, but what you could consume in the past without difficulty can change and begin to have increasing repercussions on your health now. The human body can become sensitized to certain substances over time and it is my belief that’s what is happening with you and caffeine. I’d like you to get the lab work done and make the changes I’ve suggested for the next two weeks. It’s not going to be easy for the first four or five days; you may find you actually feel a bit worse as your body adjusts to the lack of caffeine. If during that time you find you’re feeling really miserable, you can take one quarter of a 100mg caffeine tablet once a day. Zack can cut you some at the pharmacy, but I don’t want you taking more than that and only for the first few days. After two weeks, come back and see me. If at the end of that time your symptoms have not greatly improved, then we’ll have to investigate further. Can you do that?”

Rene frowned. He thought the Doctor was being ridiculous but Zack’s hand was still on his neck, squeezing it firmly enough that Rene realized he better agree to the Doctor’s orders. “Okay, I guess I could try it for a few days.”

Zack relaxed his hand and gently rubbed his fingers over the fading mark on the back of his husband’s neck to let him know he appreciated his capitulation in regards to filling the Doctor’s requests.

“I’m sure Rene will do his best, Doctor. In the meantime, we mustn’t take up more of your time as you have a roomful of other patients waiting.” Zack got to his feet and extended his hand. “Thank you for your caring advice. We’ll see you in a couple of weeks.”

The visit came to an end with Zack and Rene leaving the office with a multitude of thoughts running through their heads; not many of which were in agreement with each other.

Rene slumped against the car seat and sighed deeply. This had not been what he’d expected to hear from the Doctor. The very idea of giving up coffee was absolutely depressing. It wasn’t that he didn’t understand that too much caffeine could cause problems, but he’d figured it was something that happened when you got old and he was not old!

He knew it wasn’t right, but part of him was angry with Zack for making him go to the Doctor. He crossed his arms over his chest and turned away from his husband as he got into the driver’s seat. Rene wasn’t in the mood for talking.

Zack gave his irate companion a quick glance, pursed his lips and turned on the ignition. He easily recognized the signs of Rene at an emotional crossroads and instinctively knew to give the younger man time and personal space to come to grips with what lay before him. He realized it had come as quite a shock to hear the Doctor’s diagnosis and instructions. Rene would either talk himself into a full-blown fury at what he’d see as righteous indignation or mellow out enough to think rationally. Zack would prefer it be the latter but knowing his husband as well as he did, didn’t hold out a great deal of hope.

Needless to say, it was a silent drive home with a very cool atmosphere prevailing. Zack sadly shook his head as he followed his husband into their home, picking up on the squared shoulders and slightly stomping feet which were indications of a fast approaching storm.

“Hold up a minute there, Rene. Before things get totally out of hand, let me know if you need some corner time to calm down or if you’re able to converse reasonably,” Zack requested as his husband headed in the direction of his studio.

Rene stopped with his back still turned to Zack. “I really don’t feel like conversing right now. I’m going to go work in my studio for a while. You should go back to work. We’ll talk later.” He continued towards the staircase leading to up to his private working area.

 “Oh no, you’re not.” Zack moved quickly, taking his husband by the arm and leading him over an empty corner. “I am not returning to the pharmacy and you are not going upstairs until we’ve discussed what took place during your appointment with Patrick. Now you can stand there as long as you want. Just let me know when you’re ready to talk and share how you’re feeling about all the unexpected changes you’ve been instructed to make.”

Zack stepped back with intentions of turning on the radio and getting an early start on their evening meal. He wanted to stay close in order to keep an eye on his Brat.

Rene immediately spun around to face his husband. “How I feel? I feel pissed off! But that doesn’t change a thing! I said I’d follow the damn instructions, didn’t I? I’m not going the cheat and drink coffee if that’s what you’re thinking. So what’s left to discuss?”

Zack glared at his husband for several seconds, not wanting to respond to Rene’s anger with same. He took a deep breath, placed his hands on the other man’s shoulders and looked him firmly in the eye. “I understand your annoyance, Rene. You weren’t at all prepared to hear what Patrick had to say. This drastic change you have to make really blind-sided you. But flying off the handle and shouting at me is not the way to handle it. And for the record, young man, it hadn’t crossed my mind that you’d go back on your word and cheat.”

Although Zack tried to keep the fleeting hurt he was feeling out of his voice, he couldn’t prevent a trace of it briefly showing in his eyes. “Okay, my man, last chance. Are you ready to talk it out and maybe together we can come up with ways to make all this a bit easier on both of us?”

Rene realized just how horrible he’d been. Zack wasn’t at fault for this problem and he certainly didn’t deserve to be spoken to in that way. He threw himself against his husband and wrapped his arms around him tightly. “I’m sorry, Zack. I love you. I don’t want to argue with you.”

Zack lovingly returned the embrace, softly kissing the head resting on his shoulder. “I know, baby. I love you too, and I accept your apology.”  A quick squeeze and he stepped back, realizing he’d better take advantage of the younger man’s affable mood. Who knew how long it would last. “Come with me please.” He held a finger up to his lips. “Shhh,” he whispered when he saw a sign of his requested being balked at. 

Taking Rene’s hand, he led him upstairs and into their en suite. Once there, he turned on the water to fill the Jacuzzi tub and deftly removed his lover’s clothing. “In you go,” he ordered with a none-too-gentle swat on the unprotected rump. He smiled when he was immediately obeyed and quickly striped, leaving a second pile of clothing on the floor, and climbed in behind his husband.

Zack reached to turn off the taps, pulled Rene between his legs and against his chest. He loved these quiet times with his husband naked in his arms; relishing in the other man’s submission, and felt the tension slowly draining from his own body. He leisurely deposited amorous kisses along Rene’s shoulders before stopping at the nape of the younger man’s neck to leave his mark.

Rene moaned in pleasure at Zack’s touches, the tender spot on the back of his neck burned slightly from Zack’s renewed attention. Rene was quickly becoming aroused, but was drawn back to earth when Zack spoke.

“You’re facing quite a challenge, my love. Don’t you think it would be a good idea to formulate a plan that will make it less arduous for meeting with success?” Zack asked quietly, not wanting to disturb the peaceful ambiance but knowing the subject had to be dealt with.

“I suppose,” Rene responded with a sigh. “But what sort of plan is going to make giving up coffee any easier?”

“I have a few ideas. First, I think we should get rid of that big cappuccino maker. Replace it with a small two-cup coffee maker we could make use of every morning.”

“No way, we do not need to give up the cappuccino machine! This is a two week experiment not a permanent change!” Rene protested.

“I will not be at all surprised to learn in a couple of weeks’ time that this is life-time alteration if your good health is to be maintained. We might as well face the inevitable from the get-go, love.”

“I am certainly not calling this inevitable.” Rene vehemently objected.

Wanting to maintain a calm atmosphere, Zack decided on a little diplomacy. “You might be right. No sense jumping to conclusions this early. We’ll learn of the final outcome soon enough when Patrick goes over your test results with us. For the time being we can just consider it up in the air. How’s that?”

“Okay I guess.”

“Meanwhile, Rene, we don’t have to do this alone. We can ask others for help.”

“Who would we ask to help?”

“My parents, for a start. I’m sure that instead of serving caffeinated beverages when we’re there, Papa would easily find a substitute. He’s had to drastically cut down on his own consumption because he detests sweetener in his coffee and Dad practically goes ballistic with the amount of sugar Papa used in the past. Papa has a great selection of herbal teas along with a number of punch recipes.” Zack chuckled when Rene glanced over his shoulder and scrunched up his face. He obviously found the idea of herbal tea as a replacement for his favourite brew somewhat unappealing.

“No offence, Zack, but hell will freeze over before I start drinking herbal or any other kind of tea. I hate tea!” Rene shuddered.

“Okay, okay, I get it. No tea,” Zack laughed before moving on. “You know, we can also ask Kadyn for help. You like to visit him every chance you get; so rather than curtail those visits you can talk to him and request that he not put on the coffee pot. He’s a good friend. Bet he’d be more than willing to make you a milkshake instead.”

“I do love milkshakes, but not all the time. I’ll end up getting fat!” Rene raised his only an objection to that suggestion.

“Humph!” Zack snorted. “You’ve already lost weight according to the Doctor so a few extra calories might be a plus. They sure can’t hurt.”

“One last thing, Rene. Until you get your addiction under control, Tim Horton’s is off limits. There is no need to torture yourself with avoidable temptation.” Zack voice changed slightly as he emphasized his point. “I’m not kidding. If I find out you’ve been there, your bare butt and my hand will be having an in-depth conversation. You understand me?”

“Yes sir,” Rene replied with another deep sigh. He’d already figured he’d better avoid the place for the next couple of weeks, but hadn’t banked on Zack being so adamant about it.

“Thank you,” Zack whispered, lifting Rene’s chin and dropping a tender kiss on his parted lips. His expression grew ever more compassionate as he looked into his husband’s sad eyes and lovingly offered encouragement. “I realize how hard this is going to be for you, sweetheart, but many folks have to deal with these types of changes. As unhappy as you are with the circumstances you presently find yourself in, I have every confidence that you’ll meet this challenge head on and conquer it.”

“Thanks, Zack. I’ll do my best.” Rene turned himself around so he was kneeling between Zack’s legs. “How about I show you my best at something a lot more fun?”

“Go for it, Stud,” Zack enthusiastically egged on and gave himself up to his husband’s arousing touches.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Their activities distracted Rene from craving his usual need for coffee and he managed to finish up dinner as well as go the rest of the evening without his usual large mug full. Sleeping that first night wasn’t perfect but he’d slept somewhat better than most nights recently.

He woke in the morning to the wondrous smell of his favourite brew wafting up from the kitchen. Zack had obviously been up for a while when Rene stumbled from the bed. He wandered down to the kitchen dressed only in boxers and a t-shirt. Zack was at the stove scrambling eggs.

“Morning,” Rene mumbled as he reached for his favourite mega mug. However, the mug wasn’t in its usual spot. Instead there was a standard-sized coffee cup hanging from his hook. He looked in the cupboard above the coffee maker and checked the dishwasher. “Zack, have you seen my mug?”

“Good morning, sleepyhead.” Zack wrapped an arm around his husband’s neck, drew him closer and kissed him. “Yes, I’ve seen your mug. I packed it away with the cappuccino machine when I dug out my old, much smaller, coffee maker. Kind of matches the smaller cups, don’t you think?” He braced himself for the anticipated fallout.

Rene pushed out of his husband’s embrace and looked at the spot where the cappuccino machine always stood. There was Zack’s old machine with the small glass pot filled only to the half-way point with coffee. “Zack, come on! You can’t be serious? We agreed that we’d keep the machine cuz this is only temporary! And I know the Doc said one cup a day but for God’s sake, at least let it be a decent sized cup, not this…this reject from the fifties!” he shouted, pointing to the small cup.

“Sorry, Rene, but this is how it’s going to be for the next couple of weeks at least, so get used to it. And I’d appreciate you not shouting at me.” Zack stood with hands on hips; his stern expression not boding well if someone’s attitude didn’t change in a hurry.

“Fine, whatever,” Rene replied sullenly. He knew he’d never win the argument but he sure as heck wasn’t going to be happy about it. He turned, took the small cup and filled it to the absolute brim with coffee. He normally took cream in his coffee but he figured if he was going to be limited this severely, he’d get every drop he could of the brew. He’d drink down the first of it black and then add the cream.

Zack turned back to his self-appointed task in order to keep his smile hidden. However begrudgingly he was doing so, Rene was adhering to his promise to follow Doctor’s orders.

The eggs were divided between two plates just as the toast popped out of the toaster. Zack buttered the four slices as quickly as possible and put their breakfast on the table next to glasses of freshly squeezed orange juice.

Sitting down, he invited Rene to join him. “Dig in, Rembrandt, before it gets cold.”

Rene sat down at the table with his coffee in hand. He managed to gulp down a few sips of the scalding liquid; enough to add some cream to make it a little more tolerable. He looked at the breakfast Zack had prepared and felt a twinge of guilt in his stomach. He was once again feeling guilty for taking his frustrations out on the one he loved. “I’m sorry, Zack. I know I keep saying that a lot lately, but I really am sorry for making you the recipient of my lousy mood. I don’t know why you put up with me.”

Zack put his fork down and reached for his husband’s hand. “I don’t ‘put up’ with you, Sweetheart. I love you; I live with you and I share my life with you. I hope to do that for as long as I live.” He gave the hand in his a slight shake. “Everyone experiences moments of frustration or other negative temperaments. It’s how we deal with them that matters. You seem to find them harder to overcome at the moment. Is there anything else I can do to help you with that so it doesn’t continue much longer?”

Rene shrugged. “I really can’t think of anything. Just being here for me and knowing you love me and …well,” he hesitated, “don’t let me get away with being miserable to you. All that helps.”

“That’s doable, love,” Zack assured him, glancing pointedly at Rene’s untouched plate for a moment and then concentrating on his own when the younger man picked up his fork.

They finished up breakfast and Rene savoured ever last drop of his coffee before surrendering the cup to the dishwasher. He sighed, thinking about how long this day was going to be without having any more. “I’m going to get my shower now and head off to the daycare. Do you want to meet me for lunch today?”

“Okay, twelve sharp at the Maple Grille. I’ll bring the caffeine tablets Patrick recommended so you can take one with your meal. Does that work for you?”

“Yeah, that sounds good.” Rene kissed Zack and headed up to the shower. By the time he was ready for work, Zack had already left for the pharmacy.

Fifteen minutes later, Rene was walking into the staff room at the daycare. Miss Stephanie, the owner, was at the coffee machine pouring a cup.

“Good morning, Rene. Grab your mug. It’s just finished brewing.”

Rene sighed heavily. “Not this morning, Steph. I’m on a caffeine ration. Doctor’s orders.”

“Oh geesh, Rene, that’s not going to be easy for you. Why did the Doctor cut you off?” she enquired kindly.

“I’ve been having trouble sleeping, so he wants me to try cutting back to one cup a day for the next two weeks to see if it helps.”

Miss Stephanie looked pensively into her cup, then walked over to the sink and poured the hot liquid down the drain. “You know what, Rene? Caffeine isn’t just bad for you; it’s bad for me too. And since you and I are the only two coffee drinkers here, I’m going to join you in your caffeine fast.” She took the glass carafe with the remaining coffee and poured it into the sink as well.

“Oh Steph, you don’t need to do that!” Rene protested.

“Yeah, yeah I do. I really shouldn’t be drinking it either, because…well…” she hesitated, then smiled and whispered to Rene. “I’ve just found out I’m expecting.”

“Steph, that’s great news! I’ll be Dave is thrilled.”

“Yeah, we’ve been trying for a while now and we’re both pretty happy. So you see, now we can help each other stay away from the caffeine.”

“Sounds great; it’s nice to have someone else suffering the challenge with me.”

Rene taught his early morning art class to the pre-schoolers. By ten-thirty he was craving a coffee something fierce. He had a ten-minute break before the next class, so he went into the staff room in search of something to help appease the desire. He dug through the fridge and pull out a can of Coke. He chewed thoughtfully on his lip, knowing the pop contained nearly as much caffeine as a cup of coffee. Determined to be strong, he put the can back and pulled out a small bottle of apple juice. He chugged down half the bottle before tossing the rest down the drain in disgust. Apple juice was no substitute for coffee. He stomped off to his class of three and four-year-olds and tried to put thoughts of coffee out of his head.

By the time his class was done, Rene’s head was pounding. He looked at his watch and realized he only had a few minutes to get to the Maple Grill if he was to meet Zack on time. His husband was a stickler for punctuality.

Stephanie met him as he was getting his jacket from the staff room. She had a bottle of Tylenol in her hand, having just swallowed some herself. “Here, take two of these. You look like I feel.”

“Thanks.” Rene took to proffered tablets and grabbed a cup of water to down them with. “Caffeine withdrawal sucks!”

“Be strong. We’ll get through it,” she encouraged.

They chatted for a few minutes until Rene remembered the time and excused himself. The Maple Grill was a couple of blocks down the street. He jogged along the sidewalk despite his aching head, arriving at the restaurant at twelve-o-seven. Zack was sitting in booth by the door.

Rene scooted in across from him. “Sorry I’m late.”

“Guess we’ll let it go this time,” Zack greeted. He frowned slightly when he noticed the faint lines of pain around Rene’s eyes and the creased brow. “Headache, babe?” he gently queried. Getting a nod, he kindly offered, “How about we place our order and I’ll slip around to the pharmacy to get you some Tylenol while we’re waiting for the food to arrive?”

Rene shook his head. “No thanks. Stephanie gave me a couple to take about fifteen minutes ago.”

Zack accepted the menus from the waitress and waited for her to set glasses of ice water in front of them and leave. “Is that all you’ve had this morning, Rene?”

“Yes; just the two Tylenols.”

“Then you’ve done rather well, haven’t you? I’m proud of you, love.” Zack reached into his pocket and pulled out a small vial. “I prepared these as promised. You can have one a day. I’ll leave the choice of taking it now or waiting until this evening up to you. There are enough for five days.”

Rene looked at the neatly cut tablets. “If I can only have one to get me through the rest of the day, what time do you think I should take it?”

“I suggest you take it with lunch so you don’t feel the effects of it at bedtime when you’ll want to sleep.” Zack watched as Rene removed one from the bottle, pop it into his mouth and wash it down with some of the cold water. “Good; now we’re ready to order. I’m starved and already know just what I’m having.” 

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

The next few days were very difficult for Rene. He felt fatigued, moody and headachy. However, with the help of his husband and his friends, he did manage to stick to the Doctor’s orders and slowly the symptoms began to abate. By the time two weeks had passed, Rene had to admit he was feeling better than he had in some time. He was sleeping well at night and his stomach had ceased to bother him.

The morning of his recall appointment at the Doctor arrived and Rene was not looking forward to hearing what he knew would be the result. Though he did feel better, part of him still wanted to go back to enjoying his coffee.

As he dressed, he decided to fish around with Zack for a tiny bit of hope. “Do you think the Doctor will say it’s okay for me to have at least a couple of coffees a day? I’d sure love to have one in the afternoons again.”

Zack finished buttoning his shirt while pondering the question. “I think we’ll just have to leave all that up to Patrick, love. You’ve been sleeping so much better and your overall attitude has improved drastically. He may not want to rock the boat, so to speak. Now get a move on; we don’t want to be late.” He landed a light swat on his husband’s backside before heading out the door of their bedroom.

Patrick smiled as he entered the office and took a seat. “Good to see you both again. How are you feeling, Rene?”

“I have to say I am feeling better, Doc.”

“A lot better,” Zack emphasized. “His sleeping and eating habits have also improved. Haven’t they, Rene?” The nod he got wasn’t quite as enthusiastic as he’d have like, but he was willing to settle for it.

“Well that’s great to hear. I see your lab work came back in.” Patrick looked through the paperwork in the folder. “Everything looks quite good. Let’s check your blood pressure and weight to see if there is any change there.” He quickly did the checks and Rene resumed his seat. “Your blood pressure is back down to what it was previously, though your weight is the same as it was two weeks ago. How did you manage with giving up your coffee?”

Rene put on a rather sour face. “It wasn’t easy, but I stuck to the one cup a day as you recommended.”

“I’m pleased to hear that. I wish more of my patients were as cooperative about following my recommendations for their health. I think that given the improvements we’ve seen in the last two weeks, you should continue to limit yourself to one cup per day. Now on a special occasions it’s okay to have a second cup, but don’t make a habit of it. I’m sure you’ll quickly find that it will affect your sleeping pattern.”

Rene sighed. The news wasn’t unexpected, however, it was unwelcomed. “Okay, I guess I can deal with that.”

“Good man,” Patrick replied. “I’d also like to recommend that you start taking a good multivitamin every day; something like Centrum Forte, and make sure you’re not skipping any meals. Okay?”

“Ah-ha, giving us another challenge, are you? Don’t worry; we’re up to it.” Zack grinned, got to his feet and held out his hand to shake the Doctor’s. “Thank you for all your care, counsel and support, Patrick. We both really appreciate it.”

After they’d all bid each other good day, Zack and Rene left the office. One was rather pleased with the overall results and proposals; the other somewhat disgruntled with the final decisions made on his behalf.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Rene watched sadly as Zack loaded the cappuccino machine into the trunk of his car. Though he had agreed with Zack that they would give it to Logan for use at the salon, he still didn’t like the idea.

Logan had been so enthusiastic about getting the expensive machine; he’d offered his benefactors free haircuts for the next two years as thanks for the donation. Zack had happily accepted the offer while Rene seriously considered growing his hair long.

These things aside, life in the Pearce household returned to normal over the next few weeks. Rene stuck to his cup-a-day limit of coffee and learned to enjoy fruit smoothies in the mornings at the daycare centre with Stephanie.

Rene received a phone call on a Monday afternoon that had him rushing into the pharmacy to share the news with Zack. The pharmacist’s assistant, Patti, directed Rene to the office where he found his husband sitting at the computer placing orders.

“Zack, you’re not going to believe the call I just got!”

The older man immediately knew the news would probably be as exciting as it was unexpected. He loved seeing this type of animation lighting up his young lover’s face. “You better spit it out, Rembrandt, before you burst,” he teased, spinning around in his chair to give Rene his full attention.

“I got a call from Beachwood Developments. They are the corporate owners of Highway Farms Grocery Stores. They’re opening a huge new store in Kelowna and they want me to paint a mural along the entire back wall! The guy said he’d seen my mural at the bank here in town and had been really impressed. Mr. Hudson gave him my name and number. Zack, they’re going to pay me seven thousand dollars!”

“Well done, sweetheart; that marvellous talent of yours is really paying off big time.” Zack got to his feet and hugged Rene, giving him congratulatory pat on the back in the process. “You should be proud of your growing fame. I know I am. When do you start?”

“They’ve given me a start date of the eighteenth. The only problem is the construction running behind schedule and them still wanting to open on time for the twenty-eighth of the month. I won’t be able to get in to start work earlier and it has to be completed, with me out of there, on the twenty-seventh. I’m going to have to stay in Kelowna during that time in order to get the job done. They are going to send me all the dimensions and details so I can get the sketches drawn up and ready to trace out ahead of time, but still it’s going to be a crunch to finish on time.”

Zack sat back down and whistled softly. “Wow, rather high expectations. Are you sure you’re going to be able to do it? I mean, considering the amount of work on a very tight timetable.” Zack didn’t want to sound discouraging, but facts had to be faced.   

“I know it’s going to be hard work and it’ll be tough on us being apart, but this is such a great opportunity and will really put my work out there. I know I can do it, as long as I have your support.”

“Of course, you have my full support, Rene. You’re absolutely correct! It is a great opportunity and I certainly wouldn’t want you to give it up.” He pulled his husband down to sit on his lap. “So tell me where you’ll be staying while you’re in the big city.”

“They’re going to put me up at the Best Western hotel which is just down the street from the store.”

“I have to admit, it’s definitely better than living out of your car which you’ve done in the past.”

Rene laughed. “As if you’d let me do that again.”

“You got that right!” Zack affirmed and joined in the laugher.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

The next week had Rene making arrangements to have time off from the daycare centre while he was away and working on the sketches for the mural. He’d worked out several different options and had driven down to Kelowna to meet with Mr. Simpson, the director in charge of store design, to present them to him. Mr. Simpson liked one of the designs but had requested several changes which took Rene another few days to complete to his satisfaction.

Soon it was the afternoon of the seventeen, and Rene was packing the last of his supplies and personal items needed for his stay in the city. He’d wanted to head out right away but Zack had insisted he wait so they could have an early dinner together before Rene left.

“I know you’re anxious to get going, sweetheart, and I appreciate you delaying your departure long enough for us to have this extra time with each other. You’re going to be gone for almost ten days, so every minute counts.” Zack smiled at the man sitting across the table from him. He could tell by Rene’s body language that he was eager to get his journey underway. “I know you promised to call every night and while I love hearing your voice, it’s not really a substitute for holding you in my arms.”

“I’m going to miss you like crazy, Zack. This is going to be the longest we’ve been apart since we met. But I am so excited about this project. It’s going to be a real challenge and the pay cheque is nothing to sneeze at either.”

“True enough, Rembrandt. You’ll be well occupied and I’ll just have to find extra chores to do so the days fly by faster.” He leaned in closer and winked conspiringly. “Count of having a lot of erotic action when you get home. We’ll want to make up for lost time.” 

An hour later they were saying goodbye and Zack was listing off instructions for Rene to follow. “Drive safely, my love. Remember, I will be expecting your nightly calls after you are in bed but never later than eleven o’clock. There’ll be no burning the midnight oil, regardless of how much there is to do.” He spoke firmly and watched to make sure his words were being received loud and clear. He was well aware of his husband’s inclination to easily become oblivious to much of life’s daily routine once he got wrapped up in his art. “Pace yourself accordingly, takes breaks regularly and eat properly. Stick to your one coffee a day so you’ll get a good night’s sleep. Aside from that, have a blast.” He pulled the younger man into his arms and thoroughly kissed him. “Off you go now,” he ordered in a husky voice when finally able to catch his breath. He stood on the porch and waved until the love of his life was no longer in sight.    

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Rene checked into his hotel room and made the promised call to Zack to let his husband know he’d arrived safely. Once settled he headed down the street to the store, to have a look at the finished wall he would begin working on in the morning. He knew the wall was to be one hundred and ten feet wide and six feet high starting eight feet above the floor. From the floor to the start of his wall there were banks of freezers, meat counters, bakery display cases and a deli counter. They were providing him with scaffolding which allowed him to move with ease along his work area.

He gave his name to a construction worker at the door and was given entrance. He looked up to the back wall and immediately realized that though the gyprock had been installed, the seams had not yet been taped or mudded and no primer paint had been applied. He could not begin the mural on an unfinished wall! Rene pulled out his cell phone and called Mr. Simpson to report the problem.

The design director was shocked by Rene’s news, having been promised it would be finished by now. He suggested that Rene head back to the hotel and that he would take care of dealing with the tradesmen whose job it was to get the wall completed

Rene got back to the hotel room and sighed as he looked over his sketches and began to recalculate the hours it would take to complete the mural. He had originally allowed for approximately ten to twelve hours per day for the ten days he had been allotted. He knew now that there was no way he’d be able to start work tomorrow and wasn’t even sure about the following day as the wall finishing had to dry sufficiently before he could begin.

His cell phone rang as he began going over the numbers for a second time. He answered with a hopeful sounding ‘Hello’ when he saw Mr. Simpson’s name on the call display.

“Rene, I’m terribly sorry about the situation at the store. Apparently there was some lack of communication to the front line workers regarding the expected completion date for the wall. They have assured me the wall will be taped and mudded this evening but it must have twenty-four hours to cure before the primer coat can be applied and then another twenty-four hours for the primer to dry before you can begin your work. Which means you won’t be able to begin until the morning of the twentieth. I know we’re asking a lot of you, but we really need that mural finished by the evening of the twenty-seventh. Can you handle it?”

Rene knew it would mean much longer work days but he didn’t want to disappoint his employer. “Yes sir, I’ll get it done for you.”

“Good man. I’m looking forward to seeing those sketches of yours come to life on the wall.”

Rene bade Mr. Simpson a good night and slumped back on the bed. He would now have to work up to fifteen hours a day to complete the project. If he arrived at the store by seven a.m. each day and took minimal breaks, he could be out of there before eleven p.m. and make his daily phone call to Zack.

Deciding to try and put the whole thing out of his mind for a while, he watched some TV until the eleven o’clock news started. He quickly stripped out of his clothes and climbed under the bed covers before picking up his phone and calling Zack to wish him good night.

“Hello again, love. Two calls from you in less than four hours, not a record breaker by far but very nice all the same.” One could hear the smile in Zack’s voice. “I take it you’re in bed and ready for a much needed rest before you begin work in the morning.”

“Yeah, I’m in bed and wishing you were here beside me.”

“Wish I was too, sweetheart,” Zack empathized with a resigned sigh before switching topics. “So did you get into the store to check out the work site like you told me earlier you were hoping to do?”

“Yes, I went down to check things out.” Rene decided to change the subject in hopes of avoiding further questions. “It’s really going to be a beautiful place; very big and bright. They are even going to have a pharmacy inside the grocery store. I’m glad we don’t have that in Jade Heights. I think it’s much nicer to have a smaller one like yours where you know your customers and really care about them.”

“My sentiments exactly; which is why I jumped on the one I have as soon as it became available.” The tenor of Zack’s voice suddenly changed. It became deeper and forceful. “I take it you are naked. If not you better be.”

Rene felt a shiver go down his spine at the sound of Zack’s voice. “Yes, sir.”

“Good! I want you to slowly run your hands down your body. Start at your neck and gradually move down towards your genitals. Take a few moments to play with your nipples. Talk to me, tell me what you’re doing,” Zack softly demanded.

“Touching myself like you do; scraping my fingernails down my sides and back up again,” Rene panted. “Now I’m pinching my nipples. They’re hard and begging for your attention.”

“Keep exploring yourself. You have the most amazing body. I wish I was the one caressing it, kissing it, causing your excitement to grow along with my own.” Zack paused to listen to his lover breathe harder. His own breathing pattern changed and increased in tempo as he quickly removed his own clothing and stretched out on the bed. He knew Rene could hear him and the thought heightened his own anticipation. “What would you want me to do to you if I was there, my darling?” he asked gutturally.    

“I’d want you to open me with your fingers; push them deep inside me until they were scraping over my prostate, making me harder and harder. Then you’d take your other hand, grab my shaft and pump it while you continued to finger me.”

“Close your eyes; in your mind let your hands become mine. First push in one finger, then a second one and stretch yourself open for me. Push in further. Now start working your erection with your other hand.”

“I can’t,” Rene moaned.

“Yes you can. Now do it!” Zack commanded. The resonances from his end of the line sounded hot and steamy. He gripped his own straining member, began manipulating it and pictured his beautiful lover doing the same.

“Oh God, Zack!”

Zack realized Rene was about to come. The sounds of his husband’s orgasm emanating from the phone triggered one of his own that was shattering, powerful and consuming. Several long moments passed during which only echoes of their raspy breathing could be heard.

“Good night, my love. Sleep well and sweet dreams,” Zack whispered when he was finally able to speak coherently. ‘I love you’ was his final, soft-spoken vow prior to hanging up.

Rene murmured ‘I love you too’ as he disconnected the phone. He managed to grab some tissues to wipe off his hand and stomach before turning over and falling into a deep sleep.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Rene slept in a little later than normal the next morning. He hadn’t bothered to set the alarm to wake him since he couldn’t begin his job that day. It was after ten a.m. by the time he was showered, dressed and heading out of the room in search of some breakfast. There was a Tim Horton’s next to the hotel and though Zack had forbidden him going to the one in Jade Heights, he reasoned it would be acceptable for him to have his breakfast and his one cup of coffee there in the mornings while he was away from home.

He treated himself to a medium size coffee with his breakfast sandwich and sat in the restaurant reading the local paper as he ate. Once finished he felt at a loss as to how to spend his day. Part of him argued that he should call Zack and go home until tomorrow evening, but he immediately dismissed the idea as being a lot of extra driving and stress just to pass some time. Besides, he wasn’t quite sure how Zack would take the news that he now had only eight working days to complete the project. He decided to take a walk and explore the area. A few blocks from the hotel he found an art supply store and went inside to browse.

He quickly decided he would pass the rest of this day and the next by trying something he hadn’t done since he was in university. Purchasing the needed supplies, he headed back to his hotel room where he spread plastic sheeting over the small table. Working from memory and a small photo from his wallet, he began his project. He was so excited by his work that he didn’t notice the passage of time until his stomach began to growl in protest. Not wanting to bother going out, he found a number in the directory and ordered a pizza to be delivered. It was after seven p.m. when the delivery boy arrived with his order. He washed down several slices of pizza with a can of coke knowing the added caffeine wasn’t in his daily allotment but was all that was left in the vending machine.

At ten p.m. he covered up his work for the night, got cleaned up and settled into bed to make his nightly phone call to Zack.

Rene was keenly aware of how much he missed his husband as they talked. He longed to feel Zack’s body pressed against his in the bed, to feel the weight and presence of the man with whom he shared his life. He confessed to the coke with his dinner. Zack gently admonished him and exacted a promise from Rene that he would find a proper meal with a healthier beverage for the next day. He deftly managed to avoid lying to Zack’s inquiry about his work with an honest reply that he was really pleased with what he’d gotten done that day and following up with questions about things at home. They talked for more than half an hour before they finally said their good nights.

Rene was up early the second morning. He repeated his breakfast routine from the day before and then returned to his room. He wanted to get his project completed as he knew there wouldn’t be a spare moment once he began his work in the store. Mr. Simpson called in the afternoon to confirm that Rene would be able to begin work early the following morning. He skipped lunch again but did go out for dinner at a fast food burger chain down the street. Making a concession to Zack’s admonishment that he find a healthy beverage, Rene ordered chocolate milk and a bottle of water.

At eight p.m. he placed the finishing touches on his project. He was thrilled with the results and hoped Zack would be too when he gave it to him. His bedtime phone call to Zack had gone well as he neatly avoided a direct answer about what work he had completed that day.

The third day found Rene up by five a.m. He carefully packed his finished work of art into a carton and placed it in the closet safe from harm. He was at the store shortly after, with a large coffee in hand, ready to begin the mural. He worked all morning and most of the afternoon with no breaks other than to run to the washroom. By four p.m. he found himself yawning and struggling to continue. Though he was pleased with how far he’d gotten with the initial phase of transferring the outlines of his sketches to the wall, he knew he still had a lot left to do in very few days. What he needed was a boost of energy; something to keep him going for another few hours.  He climbed down from the scaffolding, grabbed his jacket and headed off to find something to eat. He found a sub shop a short walk away; bought a sandwich and soft drink hoping the food would reenergize him. However, as he walked back towards the store, he found himself yawning. 

He didn’t want to go back on his word to Zack about drinking coffee, when a not so very honest solution came to mind. A pharmacy stood at the corner right next to the supermarket, and Rene stood outside the window for several minutes arguing with himself. Finally acknowledging he’d never get done on time without some help, he went inside and minutes later walked out with a small paper sack containing a bottle of caffeine pills.  The bottle stated that each pill contained the equivalent amount of caffeine as found in one cup of coffee. He took two and returned to work.  

At eight p.m., exhausted but satisfied with his day’s work, Rene headed back to his hotel room. He showered and then spent a little time watching television before placing his nightly phone call to Zack. He felt good being able to talk about the work in the supermarket that day without having to hedge the topic as he’d done the last two nights. After saying goodnight, Rene settled into bed to sleep. However, sleep didn’t come quickly and he knew why. As he tossed and turned, he reasoned he’d taken the caffeine pill too late in the day and they were still having a strong effect. Tomorrow he’d be sure to take them earlier in the day so that they’d be worn off by bedtime. 

The next day unfortunately turned out to be anything but highly productive. He was forced to stop working several times during the day as workmen needed to shift his scaffolding out of the way to move things into place beneath his work space. Adding the fact that he was tired from lack of sleep the night before, he ended up working until ten p.m. and popping five of the caffeine pills to make it through.

By the afternoon of Rene’s seventh day away from home, he was working like a mad man. His nerves were on edge and he had to stop a number of times to steady his shaking hand while he painted. His stomach was constantly burning and he had little appetite for food. He knew he was a mess from the excessive caffeine intake, but could see no other way of getting this project finished on time. He was dreading how difficult it would be once he returned home and had to suffer through the symptoms of withdrawal from the drug. He was also feeling very guilty about what he was doing; knowing Zack would be very disappointed in him if he found out about it. He hated himself for deceiving his husband, but promised himself vehemently that this was a onetime thing and would never happen again. 

His call home that night had been strained. Zack had questioned him twice as to how he was feeling and it had taken all his control not to snap at his husband, which he knew would only make the older man more concerned. 

After hanging up, Rene knew he’d never get to sleep so he decided to head back to the store and get a bit more work done. They had given him a pass key to get in when needed and he reasoned that during the night he could work undisturbed. He toiled for three hours before returning to the hotel for a few hours of restless sleep. 

Rene was up on the scaffold on the afternoon of day eight when he heard the voice of Mr. Simpson calling him from below. 

“Rene, my lord this is beautiful!” the older man called up to him. “I can’t believe how far along you are.”

Rene looked down at his employer. “Oh hi, Mr. Simpson. You’re happy with the work then?”

“Very happy indeed. But you must have been working day and night to be this far along, especially given the delay you suffered.” 

“It’s been an effort to catch up but I can promise you it will be done on time for your opening,” Rene replied in a shaky voice.

Mr. Simpson took his eyes off the art and looked carefully at the artist perched several feet overhead. Rene looked pale and his eyes were rimmed with dark circles. The only colours in the young man’s face were his blue eyes and a few splotches of paint splatter. Evan Simpson was concerned they’d pushed their artist too hard. He didn’t want to be responsible for the man becoming ill while in their employ. “Rene, are you feeling all right? You look very pale.”

“Yes; I’m fine, sir. Just a bit tired. I’ll catch up on my sleep when this project is complete.”

However, Rene was far from fine. A few minutes after Mr. Simpson departed, Rene found himself in the men’s room for the second time that day, vomiting bile from his empty stomach. He’d been running too long on only caffeine and adrenaline.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Meanwhile, Zack had been counting the days until Rene’s return. Regardless of how busy he’d kept himself, he still found the time dragging on with each passing day of his husband’s absence. He’d spent most his lunch hours in the apartment above the drugstore as the guest of his old childhood nanny, Nessa. He had made it a habit to take her to the Maple Grill at least once a week since she’d moved to Jade Heights last year and this week he done so two extra times. He loved her dearly and enjoyed his one-on-one time with her. He had also eagerly accepted the open invitation to have his supper with his parents instead of preparing and eating a lonely meal at home. That had left him with just the long evening hours until Rene’s nightly call to fill in.

As a result of Zack’s efforts to make time pass faster, the entire lawn had been manicured to perfection and there was not a single unwanted plant to be found in any of the flower beds. Their vegetable garden was also completely weed-free and foot after foot of hedge had been faultlessly trimmed.  

Inside, their home had been immaculately cleaned. Even the windows were sparkling. Todd would have been hard pressed to find a speck of dust or a smudge of any kind. All but the baseboards had been wiped down. These were strictly Rene’s domain. Zack had quickly realized that corner-time only worked for short periods of time in helping his Brat calm down and think. Longer periods involving extensive thought required a somewhat time-consuming, monotonous chore. Baseboards easily filled that need.

Each night he’d glance down at the large empty bed in the master bedroom, sigh and reluctantly crawl under the covers on his side. It was never easy to resign himself to the fact that not only was he going to bed alone, but he’d also not be waking up to a warm body curled next to his own.

By the seventh day, Zack had run out of extra chores and was upset to find himself pacing the living room floor. He was understandably missing his lover a great deal and wanted badly to see him; hold him; make love to him. Phone calls, no matter how hot and sexy a couple of them got, just weren’t cutting it. Besides, Zack was beginning to believe Rene was under more stress than the younger man was letting on. Zack felt his husband was skirting around some issues to do with the job and that pressure was building up as a consequence. Nothing he could actually put his finger on; more of a subtle nagging in the back of his mind. It was then he decided to surprise his husband by driving down to Kelowna on the weekend to spend the remaining two nights in the hotel with him. He could always find something to do during the day while Rene was at work.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Zack dragged the thermal picnic basket and his overnight bag from the backseat and closed the car door. It had been over a week since he last saw his beloved and he was looking forward to surprising him.

Leaning against the driver’s side, Zack stuck his head in the window and thanked his parents for dropping him off. Hayden and Todd were on their way to Vancouver to spend a few days with friends and Zack had hitched a ride with them. He hadn’t wanted to drive his own car as he planned to stay in Kelowna with his husband until Rene’s job was completed at which time they’d return home together, so a second vehicle would be redundant.

He waved to his dads as they drove off and then walked into the reception area of the hotel. After obtaining a key, he went back outside and leisurely strolled down the sidewalk until he arrived at his husband’s room. He let himself in and tossed his bag on the chair in the corner, rolling his eyes at the disarray that greeted him. He wondered why the chambermaid hadn’t been in yet as it was well past five p.m. His question was answered when he opened the door leading into the hallway to discover that Rene had neglected to remove the ‘Do Not Disturb’ sign from where it hung on the knob. Zack decided it may as well stay where it was until morning.

He set about making the bed and picking up the clothing scattered about the floor. Once the room was in order, he unpacked the first piece of luggage, hung a change of clothes in the closet and set his toiletries on the bathroom vanity next to Rene’s.

Next, he emptied the basket of its’ contents. He placed the wine, salad and casserole in the fridge. Talerene was an old family recipe and one of Rene’s favourites. Zack would re-heat it in the microwave later. He neatly set the table with the white tablecloth, candlesticks, crystal wine glasses, china, and silverware he’d brought from home. He stood back to admire his work, happily anticipating his husband’s arrival and subsequent discovery of the surprise that awaited him.

Everything was ready in time for him to sit down and watch the six o’clock news. It was during his search for the remote control that he found the small white paper bag from a local pharmacy. Inside was the sales slip which told him all he needed to know and confirmed in suspicions that something might be awry. He just wished his instincts had kicked in earlier so he could have gotten here sooner. He seriously considered going to look for his husband at his workplace but changed his mind and settled for waiting until Rene got back to the hotel room. Privacy was what they’d be in dire need of.

He stretched out on the bed and clicked on the TV. With his mind working overtime in an attempt to come up with the best approach to the issue of prohibited caffeine pills, he was unable to concentrate on the news and he ended up nodding off sometime during the weather report.

It was the sound of a car pulling up and the glare of lights shining in the window that woke Zack from his unintended nap. Glancing at the LCD numbers on the clock, he was alarmed by how late it was. He sat up, took a deep breath to calm himself, listened for Rene’s passkey in the lock and waited for his unsuspecting Brat to enter.

Rene felt exhausted as he drove back to the hotel. His head was pounding and his stomach was cramping. He looked in the car mirror; the face looking back at him didn’t even resemble his own. Zack would have a fit if he saw him like this. He’d have to get himself together before he headed home in two days. He dug for the room pass card in his pocket. For some reason his pocket seemed deeper than usual and his pants were riding lower on his hips. Glancing at his watch, he saw it was quarter to eleven. He was just in time to call Zack, then grab a shower and collapse on the bed. He fervently prayed he could actually get a decent sleep tonight rather than tossing and turning, only to wake a dozen times through the night like he had for the past few nights. The bottle of caffeine pills rattled in his pocket as a noisy reminder that he had no one to blame but himself for feeling like this. But it would soon be over and he’d be back at home.

He slid the card into the slot and opened the door. The first thing he noticed was a light was on in the room. The second thing he saw was his husband standing beside the bed. ‘Oh crap!’

Zack’s eyes narrowed. He was shocked and appalled by Rene’s haggard appearance. Jamming the sales receipt into his pocket, he quickly stepped forward and embraced his lover. Taking another deep breath to keep his rioting emotions under control, he muttered against the head on his shoulder, “You look like hell, Rembrandt!”

Nothing else was said for several minutes as the men clung to each other, reclaiming who belonged to them. Then Zack landed an unanticipated swat on the seat of Rene’s pants. “Shower!” he roughly ordered. “And then we’ll talk during what I believe is a badly needed meal.”

Rene didn’t even consider arguing. He just headed to the bathroom and started the shower. He quickly stripped out of his paint splattered clothes and stepped under the spray. The heat felt good against his back, helping to relax tense muscles. As he washed his hair, he ran his hand over the spot on the back of his neck. The mark Zack always left there had faded to almost nothing in the week they’d been apart. What they needed was to reconnect.

A few minutes later, he was wrapped in his robe and walking out of the bathroom. The rich smell of Talerine filled the air and despite his unhappy stomach, it did smell good. He only hoped he could keep it down. He didn’t want Zack to know he’d been vomiting today.

He smiled at his husband as he took in for the first time the table set with cloth and candles. “Looks and smells great, Zack. It was a wonderful surprise to see you here.”

Zack returned the smile as he pulled out a chair and indicated for his husband to sit down. “It is so good to see you again, my love.” He bent and gently kissed the top of Rene’s head, taking in the intoxicating scent of the freshly washed hair of his lover.

Settling in his seat and shaking out a linen napkin, he conversationally inquired, “So exactly how did your week go? My guess is that it didn’t go as well as you’ve let on.”

Rene grimaced. “Well it’s not that the work itself has gone badly. Mr. Simpson has been in a couple of times and is very happy with how it’s looking. But…ah… it’s been a bit more intense trying to get it finished on time for the grand opening.”

Noticing Rene had yet to pick up his fork, Zack encouraged him to dig in. “It’s one of your favs, sweetheart. I strongly suspect you haven’t been getting the nutrition or rest you should have and I can well imagine the week’s proved to be more difficult than first anticipated. Are you sure you’ll be able to complete the task as promised?”

“Yeah I’m sure it can be done on time.” Rene looked at the food on the plate in front of him. He attempted to put a forkful in his mouth, but his stomach heaved and he took off from the table at a run. He knelt down in front of the toilet bowl and threw up a mouthful of bile.

Zack quickly followed in his husband’s footsteps and bent over to massage Rene’s shuddering shoulders, offering non-verbal support. He waited patiently for the heaving to stop and then dampening a washcloth, gently wiped Rene’s face.

“I think we’ve got a lot more talking to do, Rembrandt,” Zack firmly intoned, taking Rene’s arm and helping him off the floor before steering him into the other room to sit down on the foot of the bed. “So what’s going on, Rene?” he demanded, his expression clearly indicating he’d not tolerate too much more procrastinating.

“It’s just that I’ve had to work longer hours than I thought. I’m just tired and well I’ve…” Rene looked at Zack as if pleading for him to help, for him to understand without his having to come out and say the words.

Zack’s expression softened as he made note of the supplication in his husband’s eyes. “I see you’re still skirting around some important facts, Rene. Maybe I can help you out before you dig yourself any deeper by letting you know what I am already aware of.” Zack reached into his pocket, dug out the sales receipt and smoothed it out. Placing it on the bedspread, he slid it across for his husband to see. “You dropped this on the floor between the bed and the nightstand. I would now like a full explanation as to why you felt you needed these.” His voice was devoid of accusation, concern being his only consideration.

Rene sighed when he saw the sales slip. He’d known deep inside that it would have to come out in the end but he hadn’t expected Zack would find out this way. “I’m sorry…” he began. “I know you’re disappointed in me.  I just couldn’t get it all done in the time I had left. The first two days were lost because when I got here, they hadn’t finished the wall.” Rene went on to explain about the reduced schedule in which he’d had to work. “So I ended up working sixteen to eighteen hours a day.”

“Oh, sweetheart,” Zack sadly shook his head, put an arm around his husband and pulled him closer. “Why didn’t you just tell me right at the start? We could have work something out and made arrangements to get you some help. There were a number of options available to you that would have been so much better than the one you chose.”

“I…I didn’t think there…” Rene’s voice cracked as the warmth and love in Zack’s arms and voice finally reached him. “I didn’t know what to do but I had to keep going. I had made a commitment I had to fulfill. What choice did I have?”

“Well had you talked it over with me, we might have come up with some ideas. Out-sourcing comes to mind. Or I could have come down and helped out. I know I'm not an artist but once you had the design in place, I could have done some of the rough work, leaving you free to concentrate on the more intricate areas. If nothing else, I could have been a gopher for you. I also would have seen to it that you had proper meals and got to bed on time.”

Rene blinked as his brain began to take in Zack’s ideas. “I’m really dumb, huh?”

“Hey there; what do I think of you making self-disparaging comments? You’re a brilliant, talent, conscientious man who when found with his back against the wall, became somewhat rattled and didn’t think things through.”

Rene gave Zack a weak smile. “You’re too good to me. I guess I’m in a mess of trouble with you, huh?”

“I’m afraid so, but we’re not going to deal with your disobedience or increased caffeine intake at this time. We have other issues to take care of first. Right now, you are going to eat. Not a lot; just enough so your stomach isn’t empty. And then we’re going to plan out the next couple of days to get this contract of yours completed as promised. We’ll be finishing it up together, Rene. You’re no longer in this alone, my love.”

“I don’t know what I can eat right now. My stomach feels so miserable; maybe some crackers or something.”  Rene leaned heavily against his husband. “Thank you for coming.”

“I had to come, Rene. I was missing you too darn much not to. Rest here while I get you a snack and tidy up.” Another quick hug and Zack went about his self-appointed tasks. When done, he sat down with Rene standing in front of him. He leisurely undressed his lover and tenderly caressed the body he loved and knew so well. He frowned slightly at the signs of Rene having lost the bit of weight he’d managed to gain in the last couple of weeks before coming to Kelowna, but decided to keep his thoughts to himself for the time being.

After settling his exhausted husband in bed, Zack quickly disrobed and climbed in beside him. As soon as the light was turned off, two pair of hands reached for the man next to them and the slow ritual of re-familiarizing themselves began.

It was well after midnight, when Zack turned Rene over and spooned around him. He smiled at the soft sigh that escaped Rene’s lips seconds before the younger man fell asleep. Zack closed his eyes and took time to revel in the joy he felt at having his lover in his arms again.

Rene slept fitfully, waking several times. Each time, Zack tightened his hold and soothed his husband back to sleep with softly hummed melodies of love.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

The alarm on Rene’s cell phone went off at five a.m. and Rene scrambled from the bed in search of the device to silence it. He pulled it from the pocket of the pants he’d thrown over a chair the night before and quickly shut off the loud recording of a trumpet playing revelry. He looked back at the bed to see Zack sitting up and staring at him with an unhappy glare.

“Umm…good morning. Sorry about the alarm. It was preset to go off at this time. You can just go back to sleep. I’ll be out of here in a few minutes.”

“Hold on there, Rembrandt. You’re not going anywhere at this ungodly hour.” Zack reached up and yanked on Rene’s arm, causing his husband to land back on the bed beside him. “We’re staying right here until at least six-thirty. No discussion! Now sleep!” He pulled the covers back over them both.

“Zack!” Rene protested as he tugged against the restraining hand. “I have to get to work. I only have two days left to get the job done.”

“You’ll have a greater chance of success with proper rest. Now be quiet!” Zack growled as he landed a sharp swat on Rene’s hip. “Sleep for another hour and we’ll talk over breakfast.”

Rene rubbed the stinging spot on his hip. There was no arguing with Zack when he spoke like that. He knew he had little choice but to stay in bed for the next hour. He sighed deeply and tried to fall back to sleep. He was surprised to find himself waking up some time later to see the sun filtering through the hotel curtains. He leapt from the bed as he glared at the clock and saw almost two hours had gone past. His husband was just stirring as he tore into the bathroom to get washed up.

He was in the middle of shaving when Zack entered the bathroom. “I’ve got to run now that it’s so late. You can come down to the store when you’re ready if you’d like to see the mural.”

“I won’t be just viewing the mural, Rene. I’ll be helping you with it. It is barely seven, so we’ve time to pick up breakfast to go at Timmy’s.” Zack opened his leather travel kit and prepared to remove the overnight growth from his face. He glanced in the mirror and saw the opened-mouth stare on his husband. “What? I told you last night I’d be giving you a helping hand.”

Rene felt warmed by Zack’s sincere desire to help. It felt good to have his husband here to back him up. He only hoped Zack wouldn’t try to keep him from doing all he needed in order to get the job done. “That sounds great, but we need to get moving.”

“Five minutes, love. I don’t need to perform self-mutilation while I’m shaving,” Zack jested in an attempt to maintain a calmness he felt would be expedient for a good day. “By the way, Rene, there is something you have that I prefer to hold on to.”

Rene knew immediately what Zack was asking for. The caffeine pills in his pants pocket from the day before. He grimaced slightly as he replied, “Yeah, I know. I’ll get them for you.”

“Thank you.”

Rene wiped the traces of shaving cream from his face and then went to retrieve the pills. He dug through his paint splattered pants and pulled out the bottle. The cap was off and he found several of the pills loose in the pocket. He tossed them back into the bottle, replaced the cap and took it into the bathroom where Zack was finishing up. “Here you go.”

Zack silently accepted the small vial and examined the label. “We’ll deal with this when we get home, Rene. First things first; you have a contract to fulfilled and only two days left to do it.” He left the bathroom and hastily pulled on his clothes while Rene did the same.

They picked up their breakfast to go and arrived at the store where they were greeted by the site manager who commented on how late Rene was in arriving this morning. Rene grimaced slightly when the man went on to say that Rene had been here before anyone else arrived every morning this week and was still there working when they all left for the day.

Zack lifted an eyebrow at this, giving Rene a look that said it would be one more thing they’d be discussing.

Wanting a change of subject, Rene led Zack to the back of the store where the huge mural spanned the width of the wall several feet above the floor. “Well, this is it so far.” Rene gave the wall a sweeping gesture with his arm.

Though Zack had seen the sketches, the actual work in its true size was more than he’d imagined. The scene, which started to the left side, depicted the local vineyards and farms with their fields of abundant bounty. Then as you looked across, it changed to the homes, businesses and buildings of the city of Kelowna with people walking along the streets and shopping at vibrant store fronts. It was a beautiful mural and to Zack’s eye appeared nearly complete.

“This is undeniably breath-taking, love,” Zack commented in a hushed voice filled with awe. “You have definitely out-done yourself with this stunning success.” He turned to the young man by his side. “And while it certainly looks near completion to the eye of the average beholder, I’m sure you will always notice areas that need to be touched up. So concentrate on precisely what must be done before the grand opening in two days. Remember, I’m here as your gopher to hopefully save you some time.”  

Rene smiled at Zack’s praise. “Thanks, but it does still have a lot of work to be done. If you don’t mind, I’ll put you to work getting some paint opened up and mixed.” Rene explained what he needed done while nibbling at the breakfast sandwich Zack had pushed into his hands. He’d tried very hard to not complain when Zack had refused to allow him coffee this morning, citing how ill he’d been from caffeine intoxication the night before. He gulped down the juice and set to work leaving the half-finished sandwich on the side of the scaffold.

Zack quickly filled his husband’s request. Noticing the partially eaten food, he picked it up and tapped Rene on the shoulder. When he had the younger man’s full attention, he made one thing quite clear. “You are to eat three squares a day, Rembrandt. No partial meals on my watch! Got it?” He handed it to Rene and stared until the sandwich was unenthusiastically lifted to pouting lips.

The morning passed fairly quickly and Zack had slipped out at noon and brought back Rene’s favourite pizza for lunch. Rene was a little frustrated that Zack had insisted they stop working while they ate, but he did finish the slices his husband had insisted upon, actually feeling hungry for the first time in a while.

By mid-afternoon, Rene was dragging badly and his head was pounding. He knew those were symptoms of caffeine withdrawal but he didn’t want to let Zack know just how bad he was feeling. He was afraid Zack would insist he stop working. He went into the men’s room while Zack was filling in a small area of paint where Rene had instructed him to.

He sat in a cubical for a few minutes with his head resting in his hands, trying to get the throbbing to stop. He knew he’d better get back before Zack came looking. As he was straightening his clothes, he felt something in his pocket. He reached in a pulled out a small pink caffeine pill. Relief was in his hand; easily taken and no one need ever know. He went up to the sink and ran the water until it was nice and cold. Then he tossed the pill into his mouth and scooped up a handful of water to rinse it down.

As the water touched his lips, the glint of his wedding ring caught his eye. The ring Zack had placed on his finger reminded him of what was more important. He spit the pill into the sink and let the running water carry it down the drain.

Two minutes later, he was kneeling down beside where Zack was sitting on the scaffold and painting. He leaned against his husband’s shoulder. “My head is killing me. Can I have some Advil?”

Zack put down the brush and wrapped an arm around his husband. He was aware of Rene’s body having once again become dependent on the drug over the past week and that he was now paying the price of going without it. “How does some pain medication and half a caffeine tablet sound?” he asked with his lips pressed gently against Rene’s forehead.

“Like heaven.”

Zack got the proffered tablets and a bottle of water. He insisted that Rene sit for a few minutes and rest before starting back to work.

The pills soon took off the edge and though still achy and tried, Rene was able to get through the rest of the afternoon without too much difficulty.

It was shortly after five when Zack decided it was time to call it a day. They’d accomplished a lot considering Zack’s lack of artistic skills and Rene being a little under the weather. “All that’s left, Rene, is a few touch-ups. They can be done in the morning. You have to wait for the paint to thoroughly dry before doing them anyway.”

Zack sighed and shook his head in sympathetic understanding. His young husband was too exhausted to do much more than nod his agreement. So it was back to the motel room and a well-deserved break that included a hot meal and a reviving shower.

Rene came out of the bathroom wrapped in a robe and drying his hair with a towel. Zack was sitting on the bed fully clothed and watching C.S.I. Miami. Rene sat beside him, leaning his body weight up against the larger man. On the TV Horatio Caine made a comment about the amount of clay in the soil where a body was buried.

“Clay!” Rene exclaimed. “How could I have forgotten?” He quickly scrambled off the bed and went to the closet and pulled out the box which he’d placed there earlier in the week.

Zack looked up at him curiously. “What have you got there, Rembrandt?”

Rene began to open the box. “You know how I had to wait two days after I arrived, before I could start the mural? Well, I filled those days making something for you. I found an art supply store down the road and thought I’d give a try at a medium I haven’t worked in since college.” He slowly reached in and pulled the bust from the box and handed it to his lover. “I did it mostly from memory and the photo of you I have in my wallet. Clay sculpture really isn’t my thing but I did have fun making it.”

Zack took hold of the gift and turned it around to examine it from several directions. “This is amazing, Love. I do believe you’ve captured my persona. We’ll have to find a place of honour in which to display ‘me’ when we get home. In the meantime, I want to treat you to a nice romantic dinner at that fancy restaurant we passed on our way back from the jobsite.” He got up, kissed Rene’s lips and placed the bust safety at the back of the dresser. With one final pat, he turned to see his beautiful lover hastily getting dressed.  

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

They arrived at the store at eight o’clock the next morning. Though Rene had slept much better than he did the night before, he still didn’t get the quality of sleep he would have liked. He couldn’t wait until they got back home where they could sleep in their own bed again. He set to work with Zack’s help, finishing up the last of the outlining and touch-ups which were needed to complete the mural.

At noon Rene was preparing to add his signature to the bottom right corner of the wall when a voice drew him from his work.

“Rene, this is positively remarkable!”

Rene turned to find Mr. Simpson standing on the floor below the scaffolding.

“I cannot wait for the executives to see this tomorrow at the grand opening. They are going to be blown away by your talent,” the older man added.

“Thank you, Mr. Simpson. I’m so glad you’re happy with it. Let me just add my signature here so I can climb down and join you.”

“Well, it seems I arrived at the perfect time.”

Rene took a moment to add his stylized signature before descending the ladder. Zack, who had been packing up the remaining supplies, came over to join the men. “Mr. Simpson, I’d like to introduce you to my husband, Zachary Pierce. He arrived the other night and has been assisting me with the final work.”

“Pleased to make your acquaintance,” Zack pleasantly addressed the older man, holding out his hand.

After the two men exchanged greetings, Mr. Simpson turned back to Rene. “I’d like to thank you, Rene, for your extremely hard work and professionalism in getting this magnificent work completed in less than the ideal time line. We, at Highway Farms, want you to know that your efforts have not gone without notice.” He pulled an envelope out of his brief case. “This is the cheque for the agreed upon contract price with a three thousand dollar bonus for completion in less than the contracted time.”

Zack pursed his lips and exhaled a silent whistle. He too was more than a little surprised at the company’s generosity, but then Rene more than deserved the additional acknowledgement.

Rene took the envelope, a huge grin on his face. “I don’t know what else to say, but thank you. This was very generous of you.”

“Not at all, Rene; it is you who have been so generous in doing this project under these circumstances. I promise you this sort of thing won’t happen again.”

Rene looked up. “Again?” he asked.

“Well I was hoping to talk with you about our next store opening three months from now in Medicine Hat.”

Rene saw Zack’s face blanch and quickly replied. “Mr. Simpson, I’m honoured that you would consider me for the job, but I really don’t want to travel that far or be gone from home for so long a period again. I enjoyed working on this project and hope that if you have anything else close to Jade Heights, you will remember me.” He shook Mr. Simpson’s hand.

“Well, I can’t say I’m not disappointed. However I do understand and will keep you in mind for any local work. I hope you can stay to be here tomorrow for the opening?”

Rene shook his head. “No, I’m sorry but we have other commitments at home to attend to. Thank you though for the invitation.”

“I understand and thank you again from everyone at Highway Farms.”

Goodbyes were said and Mr. Simpson went on his way. Zack and Rene finished loading the car together in preparation for their trip home. There was no need to return to the motel as they had already checked out.

“We have one extra stop to make, Rene, after we have a bit to eat. Then we’ll be free to get on the highway for Jade Heights,” Zack said as he buckled himself into the driver’s seat of Rene’s vehicle.

After a quick lunch and several minutes of driving through an unfamiliar area of the city, Zack pulled over to the curb and parked the car. Last night while Rene had been showering, Zack had Googled a specialty store in Kelowna that sold a particular item he was looking for. He had also found directions on how to get there.

“Okay, let’s go,” he directed, getting out and waiting for Rene to do the same. “It’s right in there.” He pointed to a somewhat unassuming store front with only a small unobtrusive sign saying ‘Adults only’. Seeing the interior was difficult due to the filmy material hanging in the window. One actually had to know the address to find this place that filled a specific need for a particular type of clientele.

Once inside, they were greeted by an older man who introduced himself as George and offered assistance.

“We’d like to look at your paddles, please,” Zack requested.

Rene’s jaw dropped. He stared at Zack in shock but couldn’t seem to form any words.

They followed the proprietor to the back of the room to see what he had available.

“This will be your paddle, Rene, so I not only expect you to pick it out, I also expect you to pay for it.”

Rene gave Zack an incredulous look. “You want me to choose, m-my own?” he stammered.

“Maybe I’d be able to offer a bit of expertise if I knew what the paddle was to be used for,” George proposed. “Will it be for play? If it is your first one, you might want to keep it light.”

“It will be used for correction and education,” Zack informed him. Glancing at Rene, he added, “And for craving control.”

“I see.” George studied both men for a moment or two; mentally taking into account their heights, approximate weights, and builds. He took down four paddles and placed them on the counter. “I’m sure any of these will get the job done.”

Rene looked down at the four implements laid out before him. He was still in a state of shock that Zack had brought him here for this. But now he had to decide on which one of these things would be used on him. “I don’t know how to pick.”

“We could always try out a couple, Rene; here and now. I am sure George has a back room where we’d have a bit of privacy.”

That statement didn’t seem to faze George at all. The man had a large number of customers throughout the BDSM and DP communities. He had even dabbled in some of the lifestyle himself. He was also well known for his good judgment and tactfulness.

Rene shot a look of pure horror at his husband for even suggesting such an idea. “No…no, just give me a minute.” A myriad of feelings were coursing through him as stood contemplating at the paddles. Shocked, yes for sure; horrified at being here, definitely, but not in general at the idea of a paddle. He realized what Zack was saying, was that he’d put himself in a place where Zack felt a change was needed. His lover had only used a paddle on him once before and that paddle he’d borrowed from his father. Though he’d never discussed this with his husband, after that incident Rene had actually done a little reading up on paddles. He’d had a sort of morbid fascination with them since reading about them being used in stories online and after Zack had paddled him that time, he’d looked into them further.

He knew from that one experience the first wooden one was very solid in its’ impact. The second was one he’d read about. It was made of Lexan, a very strong plastic that was light weight but apparently stung like the devil. The third was leather-covered wood, which he understood made it a heavier impact than wood alone. The fourth was also wooden, but wider and heavier than the first; definitely more bang for the buck as it were.

He picked up each paddle, felt their weight in his hand, turned them over and examined them carefully. Finally, he took the larger wooden one and handed it to the proprietor. He found it very difficult to meet the man’s eyes as he spoke. “This one, I think.”

“Good choice,” George praised, instinctively recognizing the signs of acute embarrassment.

The transaction was completed and they left the shop with Rene carrying his new implement in an unmarked thick plastic bag.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Ninety minutes later, Zack turned into the driveway of their home, used the remote to open the garage doors and drove in before shutting off the ignition. It had been a rather quiet drive as both of them seemed to have a lot to think about.

Having mulled over the entire situation, Zack opted for leaving the unpacking of the car until after they’d discussed what was foremost in their minds and wiped the slate clean. Neither was looking forward to the next hour or so, but both knew it had to be taken care of and putting it off any longer would only cause Rene’s anxiety to escalate.

“Just bring your newest purchase into the house, Rene. The rest can wait for now,” Zack calmly instructed.

Once inside, they went directly to Zack’s office and sat down on the leather sofa. Zack’s emotions were rapidly swinging between irritation, disappointment and hurt, fortunately with a superseding sense of compassion. Taking Rene’s hand in his and working to keep his most negative sentiments under control, Zack patiently tackled the problem head on and softly inquired, “Can you tell me why we’re doing this, love? You’ve had plenty of time to prepare for this discussion, so I’d like to hear what you think were your errors in judgment over this past week.”

Rene looked up and met Zack’s eyes. He knew his husband just as well as his husband knew him. He could see Zack was working hard to school himself. This made Rene feel all the worse. He’d really gone and messed up and now he was going to have to atone for what he’d done. He spoke without hesitation, for as Zack said, he’d had plenty of time to consider things.

“I wasn’t honest with you. I should have told you right away about the delay in my ability to start the project. I continued that lie for the rest of the week each time I spoke to you. When I was feeling overwhelmed, instead of sharing my problems with you, I hid them and resorted to taking the caffeine pills to help me function. I knew full well that I was not able to tolerate large amounts of caffeine and that it was making me ill but I didn’t stop, therefore endangering my health. I really made a mess of things, didn’t I?”

“Uh-huh,” Zack agreed. “And you just zeroed in on the underlining issue that we’ve had to deal with several times in the past. You still have difficulty with the art of communication and in this case, it led to further tribulations. Making yourself ill by not following orders from both your doctor and your Top is a serious matter, Rene, which we’ll discuss first.”

Zack saw his Brat glance at the paddle that had been placed on the coffee table, and slowly shook his head. “Not yet; we’ll be getting to that soon enough. I want you to research and do a paper on the damage excess caffeine can do to a person’s system; how it can affect their overall health and lead to additional complications. While doing so, I want you to think about how you’ve felt this past week when you’ve been unable to sleep or eat properly and how you even allowed the cravings to interfere with our relationship. I want at least six full length pages, Rene. Be warned, my lad; the next time you succumb to the temptation, you’ll not only end up with a very sore backside but also a badly cramped hand from writing the entire essay out five times. ”  

He paused to ensure all his expectations were being taken in and understood. “Okay, up you get and let’s take care of the rest of this.”

Rene stood, slowly taking his place beside Zack’s right knee. He fumbled with his belt, finally releasing it. He got the button and zipper undone. Drawing a deep breath, he shucked his pants and boxers down to his knees. He hated the moment where he laid himself across Zack’s lap like a lamb to the slaughter. Yet unlike the lamb, he knew exactly what was to come and still he did this. At this moment, he always questioned why he chose to do it; why did a grown man willingly lie himself out to be punished in this way? To the outside observer, Zack appeared to have all the power in this situation. In reality, it lay with Rene. He had only to say no and Zack would let him up. His husband was not an abuser, this was consensual. Today he was not only submitting himself for a spanking but for a paddling as well, with a damn paddle he’d bought and paid for himself.

He knew he wasn’t a masochist; he didn’t get off on the pain. He was definitely of a submissive personality; he liked having Zack take control, both in their bedroom and in their day-to-day life. But this wasn’t just submissive, it was a step beyond. It was accepting retribution for stepping outside of the structures which guided their lives. He did this to wipe the slate clean; to take what he deserved for what he’d done. With that thought, he lowered himself across Zack’s lap and attempted to prepare himself for what was due.

Zack lifted Rene’s shirt and loving stroked the bare bottom laid out for his punishing hand. He could well imagine his husband’s thoughts when in this position and he felt humbled by the trust the younger man put in him. While he valued his role as head of their household, this was one aspect he took no pleasure in at all. But it was the end result that matter; the forgiving and the forgiveness, the moving on without guilt to try again. 

He lifted his right hand and brought it down with a resounding smack, causing Rene to jerk slightly and his butt to quiver. Neither deterred Zack in his objective as he steadily heated two beautiful globes. It only took a minute before Rene was squirming and quieting crying into the arm he had his head resting on.

Zack paused and examined his handiwork. Both cheeks were evenly red and hot. He placed his hand gently on them to get his husband’s attention. “What will you do, love, the next time you find yourself in a quandary you are unable to disentangle yourself from?”

“I’ll talk to you…no matter what!” Rene promised, his voice breaking with emotion.

“Good man; you’re learning. We’re almost done.” Zack leaned over and picked up the paddle. He rubbed the cool surface over the well-warmed flesh, lifted it and proceeded to land four solid swats on each side of an already sore backside. He ended the punishment and shoved the paddle down between the seat cushion of the sofa. He soothingly caressed Rene’s back and patiently waited for the heaving sobs to abate; then he as carefully as possible lifted the chastened man unto his lap, making sure not to let the abused area come in contact with anything remotely hard.

“Shh, love, it’s over. You’re going to be all right.” Zack began the litany that had always helped settle his lover in the past. 

It took some time before Rene felt like speaking or moving at all. He was feeling exhausted, both mentally and physically, to say nothing of the burning of his backside. Finally, after almost thirty minutes in Zack’s arms, he felt himself cramping up and needing to change position.

“I have to move,” he mumbled as he struggled to his feet. His butt protested the movement and he rubbed at it cautiously. Instantly regretting the move, he cursed. “Damn, that paddle is horrible!”

“I can believe it is,” Zack intoned sympathetically as he stood up. “Although I think you made a good choice, I hope we rarely find need to use it.” He put a hand on each of his husband’s shoulders and looked him straight in the eye. “Rene, I will never stand by and let you knowingly make yourself ill like you did this past week. It hurts me too much to see you suffering when it can so easily be avoided.”

There was no condemnation in Zack’s voice, only the deep love and concern he bore for the man gazing back at him was evident. He softly avowed, “I love you with all my heart. You are my life. I want you healthy and as free from harm as possible.” Running his hands down Rene’s arms and around his waist, Zack pulled his lover closer. Then lowering his head, he gently began kissing the tear-streaked face before focusing all his attention on slightly swollen lips and insistently gaining entrance to taste the sweetness within.

Despite his aching butt, Rene found himself melting into Zack’s kiss. The stresses of his time away were beginning to abate and he suddenly found his body reacting to Zack in a very positive way. He slid his own hands down to his husband’s rear end and firmly grasped it while stretching up to grind his now growing erection into Zack’s. They hadn’t made love in over a week which was unheard of for them, so it seemed that despite a newly paddled backside, Rene’s libido was in full gear.  

Zack instantly felt the change in his lover’s body language and reciprocated in kind. Both were panting heavily by the time their lips parted. Seeing the desire in Rene’s beautiful blue eyes, Zack’s brief nod signified his own rising need to reconnect. They quickly divested themselves of their clothing. 

Rene’s eyes were dilated and he felt lost in his need to give himself to his husband. He wanted nothing more than to feel Zack’s dominate strength. There was something so erotic about being taken after a punishment. He didn’t want to be coddled or fussed over. He wanted to show his own strength by taking all that his lover could give him.

Zack steered his husband over to the large oak desk and bent him over it. He fetched the lube from the middle drawer and stepped behind Rene to prepare both of them for his entry. Taking a few moments to admire the sight before him further intensified Zack’s arousal. The beautiful versatile globes of flesh, cushiony when relaxed but firm when flexed, made the rear view mesmeric. It was always a breath-taking turn-on to see his partner in this position with bottom red from Zack’s own hand, legs spread wide and waiting for him to make his move. Knowing it was going to be rough and fast only added to the building sexual tension.

Rene gasped as he felt Zack’s blunt fingers lubing and spreading him to take his size.

Once ready and taking care not to injure his beloved, Zack placed his shaft against the rosebud between the still red, still hot cheeks, grabbed hold of Rene’s hips and firmly pushed inward. He only paused for a second or two to give his lover time to adjust to the sharp pain of entry, before pulling back and slamming in again and again. When he felt the contractions of both his and Rene’s internal organs, he extended his right arm to wrap a hand around his husband’s manhood, and then he increased the vigorous pace he’d been maintaining until their orgasms crashed over them.

Zack dropped down exhausted over Rene’s back where he worked on catching his breath while listening to his lover’s heartbeat as it slowly returned to normal. Dipping his head, he gently sucked on the nape of his husband’s neck, replacing the mark he always kept there to reclaim who belonged to him.

“Love you, Babe,” he murmured before dropping a light kiss on each shoulder and standing up on slightly shaky legs.

“Love you too,” Rene murmured. It was at this time that he wished for the content of post orgasmic bliss as written about in novels. Oh, he felt loved and sated, but hardly comfortable as he attempted to push himself off the desktop. He was sticky, sweaty, cramped and sore, but when he stood and turned and Zack pulled him into his arms and kissed him, he felt some of that bliss roll over him despite the mess.

He was about to suggest a bath when Zack’s hand slid down his back and grazed his very tender butt. “I really need a shower. Are you going to join me?”

Zack chuckled at the subtle hint. “You’d be setting yourself an impossible task if you tried to keep me from showering with you,” he answered, his amusement evident. 

He took Rene’s hand in his and headed for the stairs. “Come on. We are both in urgent need of some long, drawn-out reconnecting time in order to put any negative aspects of this past week behind us. The romp we just enjoyed didn’t come close to appeasing the sense of loneliness I felt during your absence. I’m still left with this overwhelming urge to take my time exploring your delectable body and making slow passionate love to you. And as luck would have it, we have hours in which to do just that.”

The End